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Scott Adams Quotes: 11

  • It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.

  • I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

  • Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

  • The best you can hope for in a relationship is to findsomeone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It isfutile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someonewho is capable of significant change; that sort of personexists only in our imaginations.

    God's Debris: A Thought Experiment

  • You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.

  • Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto

  • Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

  • If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

  • The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.

  • Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

  • Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.