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Erma Bombeck Quotes: 12

  • When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

  • Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

  • When humor goes, there goes civilization.

  • There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

  • When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.

  • When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?"it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

  • I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

  • Housework can kill you if done right.

  • Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

  • Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

  • A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

  • It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.