Craig Ferguson Quotes: 11

• I realized women and humor were linked very closely.

• I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

  American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

• He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and you'd better get ready for the next one. The next one might be the shot heard round the world. My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don't.

  American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

• I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.

• Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

• Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.

  American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

• I've got mixed feelings about poetry cause done well poetry is fantastic. But not many people are capable of doing it well. I think you should have some kind of license to perform poetry. A poetic license perhaps.

• I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day. Whoever I had become had to die.

  American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

• She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy.I do have a knack for finding great women.

  American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

• People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.

• You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.