Christopher Moore Quotes: 20

• My fans have great senses of humor and eat too much chocolate.

• For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the responsibility of a messiah that I touched on in 'Coyote Blue' and 'Island of the Sequined Love Nun,' but it ended up being an exploration of the true meaning of sacrifice, loyalty, and friendship.

• People, generally, suck.

  The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

• If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.

  Practical Demonkeeping

• Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.

• There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.

  Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

• Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.

  Coyote Blue

• I love you above all things, even pie.

  Fool

• She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.

  Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

• Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.

• I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.

  Practical Demonkeeping

• Science, you don't know, looks like magic.

• Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.

  Island of the Sequined Love Nun

• Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.

  The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

• Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again.

  A Dirty Job

• Routine feeds the illusion of safety...

  Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

• That's the scary thing about hope,"she said. "If you let it go too long it turns into faith.

  Coyote Blue

• All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?

  Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

• As a teacher of fourth-graders in a public school, where corporal punishement was not allowed, she had years of violence stored up and was, truth be told, sort of enjoying letting it out on Kona, who she felt could have been the poster child for the failure of public education.

  Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

• Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit

  Coyote Blue